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Back Pack.

Today is Monday, March 4th. 2018. The kids have no school today. We stayed up late last night enjoying 3 movies and slept in until 10am! I am about to drop the little homiez at their father's house and as I was getting stuff ready, I looked over and saw Luca grab his school belt to put in his backpack to take to his father's house. For some reason this hurt me. To see his little hands grab his school belt and lunch back to put in his school bag to make sure they have it at the other house made me feel some type of way. I kills me every time my boys leave my house to know that they have to go back and forth.  They are growing up so fast and are starting to have responsibilities now. Their responsibilities and worries shouldn't be making sure that they remember to bring their school belts and lunch bags to the other house. I don't know. I am still trying to get use to this 50/50 custody thing and I just hurt for my kids that they have to go back and forth. I know …

Don't expect anything different..

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Today I threw my son his 9th birthday party! I invited all his classmates, friends, family, and also his father side of the family because they are still family to me and I don't believe in having separate birthday parties unless there's some crazy tension between the parents etc.... Last year their father and I split the bill and to tell you the truth it was so stressful because he kept on looking at every single food that was coming out and telling me if it's necessary for all this food, and I said yes because you would to have more than enough than not enough.
      The party was great, and my son had such a great time with everyone! It was a little hard at first because I really thought that their father and I would be able to talk and maybe take some family photos for my son, but he didn't even want to talk to me or acknowledge me. Honestly if you are going to be that way, why come? I don't care what you have against me, but we are still parents to our so…

Just momma and her little homiez

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I had my first mommy and me session with the boys! I haven't took photos with them since they were 3 years old! This session meant so much to me! I have gone through so much this past couple of years and all I wanted was a session of just me and my boys.   I had everything planned out in my head! As a photographer myself, I wanted this session to be PERFECT so this was my list that I had:coordinating outfits hair and makeup boys haircutsmake sure I don't have bags in my eyes shave legs and pits do nails The list goes on.........
I reached out to my talented Momma friend Kristina from Nohea Photography and asked if she would be able to do our session.  I am so glade to have her  shoot for us! Kristina was amazing!!! She read my mind, and she also reminded me that the list I had doesn't make  a perfect session. For the perfect session, all I needed was the boys and ME!  Prior to the session I had a tough week. Dealing with negativity from my ex husband and more divorce stuf…

Another chapter closes ...Now on to the next...

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8.6.2018
.. Man.... finally!  I feel like a HUGE load has been lifted off my shoulders! I have been divorced for almost a year, and before that I was separated for 2 years. I moved out of my house May 2017, and was living with my sister for almost a year. I moved out and got my own place Jan 2018!! since may 2017 I rented a storage unit with all my stuff but I also had some more stuff at my old house. Well, today I finally got the rest of my stuff out of that house! I mean it was a weird moment with negativity when it got dropped off but I kept my cool and I imagined myself as a tree with strong roots! Roots that dug deep into the ground, and impossible to be knocked over.

After getting all the stuff what I wanted, and to see that negative energy drive off all huffin and puffin make made me smile. Made me smile because I finally got my stuff and also made me smile because I not longer felt stuck. I no longer felt like the bad juju had something over my head!  

Now the next project is…

I never thought I would be so happy seeing this!

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I have been a single mom for about year now and I am not going to lie, it is fucken hard. There are times where I am talking to myself and doubting everything, but there are also times where I am telling myself that I got this and I know I will and can do this!  I have bee living at my new apartment now for almost 3 months and it has been great for my kids but it has been a little of a struggle for me. That's okay though right? That's what single parents have to go through right? I don't know, I am always asking myself that. I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years and my boys are now 8. I am not doing photography full time, teach fitness class in the mornings part time, and still trying my best to promote Arbonne because I love their stuff. Why do I do all of this when I should be getting a REAL JOB( that's what my ex would say) Well, because this allows me to be there for my kids still. I am still able to pick them up when they are sick. I am able to stay home w…

Happy One Year Roller Derby-versary

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Today is a very special Anniversary for me. It is my One year Derby-versary! One year ago I did something that was completely out of my freaken out of my comfort zone! I joined Roller Derby! I was going through a tough time with my marriage at the time and just wanted to do stuff for myself. I had a bucket list of things to do and try. Things that I have always wanted to try but never got the chance to or the guts to! I put up a post about wanting to try a session with roller derby, got an email from a gal name Jabber ( which at the time I was like, who would name their child Jabber LOL, not knowing that Derby players have nicknames!) Stopped by to check out her League High Tide, the following week stepped on the track with some skates on Feb.13th 2017 and from that moment it was never just a session! I was scared shitless because this was something totally out of my comfort zone!
    This was the first time I tried something where I didn't know anyone or anything about! I hav…

Another chapter to a whole new Journey ....

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Sept. 23rd  2017 is something that I have been waiting for and also in a way have been  dreading about. Today is the day that my divorce is finalized. Today is the day where I am no longer stuck and trapped in a marriage where I felt so alone and confused about. The reason why I said dreading is because it's reality. I don't hurt for me, I hurt for my children. My two boys. Their mommy and daddy are no longer married. No more waking up to seeing us together, no more having family dinners, no more coming home to see both parents at the same house.. I know that this is a process and it will take some time to get use to and time to help the kids and I heal from but I do know that this is the best choice. I am going to show my boys the true meaning of unconditional love. I need to make sure that I am happy so that I can be the best mommy for them. Things are going to change dramatically but I know I will get through it because I am a fighter, I am strong, and I am determine to…